Posts Tagged ‘self-improvement’

Life is hard for everyone that’s why most people search for meaning in their lives. For many of them meaning can be found through their  social interactions. For this reason it is a fundamental life skill to know how to make someone feel important, no matter what their status may be in your life.  That’s why these easy small acts of kindness can make a big impact in someone’s life.

1.Give compliments:  By complimenting someone I do not mean one of the generic variety. I mean one that is unique to that individual. For example, maybe you know someone who constantly works hard at everything they do. You can tell them how much you admire their drive and give specific examples.   If you give the right compliments at pivotal points it can spark a much needed source of joy.

2. Say thank you:  This is probably one of the simplest things someone can do, but often people forget to do it.  Using the phrase “thank you” constantly should be a habit taught at a young age because simple politeness can go along way in life. Here is an example that may make you realize the importance of this phrase: imagine you work in the service industry,  it does not matter what job (food service, customer services or a salesperson),just imagine your job is to serve others.You meet hundreds of people daily. Some treat you okay but many others are rude to you or don’t acknowledge you’re human like them. You have had a long day of rude customers and you’re really questioning why you chose this career path, then someone who genuinely seems to appreciate your help tells you thank you for all you’ve done for them. You can tell by their presence and how they say it that they mean it. A small act like that can change a terrible day to a great day.  You may doubt it, but watch how someone’s mood shifts when they get a sincere thank you.

3. Buy “just because” presents: Of course, people receive gifts on their birthday, anniversaries, and certain holidays, but the unexpected presents are appreciated the most.  Simple thought out small gifts can really show how much you care for someone. Any gift is precious but a “just because” one can really make someone’s day, week, or even month.

4.  Spend extra time with them: Most relationships dwindle or grow depending on the time invested in it. Many friendships or romantic unions fail because one or both partners won’t spend enough time developing the relationship. People generally appreciate others more if they make hanging out or talking them a top priority.  On the other hand, a relationship can be destroyed if people only spend time with one another. It is key for the growth and longevity of a relationship that the proper balance between making time with someone a priority but not your only source of daily interaction. People need to feel wanted and that’s why spending a couple hours more with someone can really have a great impact on their levels of feeling appreciated.

5. Listen to them: Many people are terrible listeners. It’s such a simple human task but so many people can not do it.  Not listening to someone usually leads to major conflicts that could be avoided by just focusing and really paying attention to what someone says. Can you image how many conflicts could be avoided if you just listened, and made sure to do or not do what someone told you? People also feel really appreciated when you can recall things they told you in the past or intentionally avoid not doing something you remember them saying they didn’t like or the opposite. Humans need to feel important and knowing we’re being listened to makes us feel important and appreciated.

There are many other things you can do to show your appreciation, but these are good places to start if you want to create more lasting meaningful relationships.

In about three weeks, I turn twenty-five. By most cultural standards I should be heading towards marriage, kids, working on my Masters or have my dream job. I wish I could say I am close to all of these things, but I am not.

Recently, I committed the # 1 sin of life: thou shall not compare thine self to others.  It’s easy to worry about things you lack and with  lists like the one linked becoming so popular it becomes hard not to change to fit a mode.  However, due to my increasing love of self-help books and generally more positive attitude, I decided to approach the next year of my life differently.

Instead of regretting what I cannot change, I decided to live the next year without limits. By living without limits, I am going to stop worrying about if I am living life by standards that are set by society and start living by my own set of new standards.

In order, to live a year of embracing the new rules, I composed a list of twenty-six things to do this year.

1. Travel more: As a  self-proclaimed bird not traveling around the world feels so caging. I may not have the money to see Europe yet, but I can occasionally buy more train tickets to see more of the Midwest and some of the East.

2. Move to California: Moving to California by December 28,2012 may seem impossible,  but this dream is just put on hold, not dead. Ticket still bought, ride coming.

3. Become more organized: After taking the Clean Sweep Assessment , I scored  low in the physical environment section. I need to de-clutter my life.

4. Read more books:  I read everyday but mainly blogs and articles now.  That’s why this year, I’ll be participating in  the 50 book challenges

5. Start a website:  After months of planning, I’m going to create two sites this year. One  focusing on movie and book reviews, and the other a plus size fashion and body acceptance one. They will start off as blogs and then I’ll convert them  to sites after I get a steady readership. .I’ll be launching the blogs for them by the end of month.

6. Build Confidence: Lack of confidence cripples most of us and I no longer want to be a victim to the low self-esteem virus.

7. Maintain a  healthy life style: Not just more physical exercising and eating healthy, but doing mental exercises to keep a positive outlook on life.

8. Seize more opportunities: Time for more yeses and less nos.

9. Do one thing that scares me everyday:Fear is good. Fear can bring out a side of us we never knew existed and that brings power and self discovery in the best way. Everyday next year, I’m doing one thing I fear, even something as small as calling up an old friend.

10. Start a jar of good memories: See this post

11. Start a “get me out of here” jar:  See this picture. Take that money and put it into my savings account.

12. Get a job I love: I love freelance writing but if given the choice to write only for my favorite blogs, sites, production companies,  publishing companies or magazines, I’d  choose that.

13. Build my freelance business: I’ve been doing freelancing for  five months and I love it, but it’s not a business yet. I don’t make enough for it to be my sole source of income, but I want it to be.  I want to build a freelance business because even if I get that job I love I want something I can always depend on if that job fails or other life dilemmas.

14. Speaking my mind more: No more silence, time to speak.

15.  Become more social: Ever meet someone and you’re so “wow’ed” by them that you want to spend every moment with them? I have been “wow’ed” plenty of times and I want to become one of those people that can immediately win people over.

16. Revamp my social life: I go out and have fun occasionally. Key word: occasionally.  I need to make  fun and experiencing life  a weekly goal.

17. Make enough money to  become financially independence: Right now, I’m making enough to get by but I want to make enough to fully support myself, which means having money for my bills, eating healthy, gym membership, transportation money, and weekend fun money.

18. Get my  driver’s license: Living in Chicago  allows me to easily access public transportation, but when I move to California I will not have that luxury.

19.  Complete 2013 Bucket List:  See Post.

20. Join a book club: I continuously attempt at starting my own but they’ve failed so yay to joining local ones.

21. Learn a ridiculous amount of movie quotes: On my full Bucket List I have “spend a day only speaking in movie and television quotes.” I even own a movie quotes book, it’s time I start learning them.

22. Teach myself new tricks: Besides improving my language skills, I want to learn  a lot more next year like more photoshop tricks, more video editing skills, how to skate, play guitar, boxing, and different styles of dance.

23.  Convince myself that the impossible is always possible: You have to believe in something; why not the impossible?

24. Maintain a daily journal and weekly vlog: I definitely need to journal more, but also I think it would be reflexive to vlog daily to not only read how I change but see it.

25:  Volunteer:  No better time then now to do this.

26. Take more pictures: Not having a camera this year has shown me that I don’t need one but want one. I  gave my camera to my sister because I felt things like facebook and instagram took away the magic of pictures.  I still feel this is a major problem, but I also feel life needs to be documented. There are things that deserve pictures.

If I can do all of these things then the twenty-fifth year is going to be one hell of a year.